for whatever reason i have never been a big new years celebration person. i think in my 31 1/2 years of life i have gone to maybe three nye parties. it has always seemed too crazy of a night to be out for, dare i say it, just another day? throw in how impossible it is to find a sitter on nye and there you have my usual nye...our quiet home with the family and a bottle of sparkling cider. usually in bed asleep before midnight even comes. and in all honesty, i am totally okay with this.
i do like the idea of a new year though. i like the idea of clean slates, fresh starts. i am a fan of change. especially if we are talking about changing the colors of my walls, rearranging the furniture, re-decorating a mantle, or changing my hair!
as for the resolution part of the new year... i have never really done that. i think my biggest fear of resolutions is just that, fear. fear of failing at the resolutions i would set. i told myself i was going to read the one year bible, starting jan 1, a few years ago... and when i was weeks behind come february i had clearly failed that resolution.
but, like i said i am a fan of clean slates and fresh starts.
in no way am i trying to say i do not need to set resolutions or goals for myself. in the past couple of weeks i have actually made a list in my head that is rather overwhelming. i feel like i should confess some things...i am hard on myself...i have unrealistic expectations...i strive for perfection...i am my own worst enemy...and my greatest struggle is needing to control everything. there you have it, all the things i need to resolve in the new year. yikes! see why i don't set resolutions? i'm a mess!
but i can break down all those large struggles into small areas that need my attention the most. in addition to resolutions i have been hearing and reading a lot about people having a "word" for their new year. i like this idea better. if i had to give myself a word to focus on for 2013 it would be patience.
patience isn't something that comes natural for me. i don't have patience with myself, with my children, or anyone really. that is a very sad thing to admit to. lacking patience with myself and others transforms into many other negative things, one of the worst is how quickly a lack of patience turns into being quick to anger. as a mom, being quick to anger breaks my heart every single day.
if i could work on one thing this year it would be that.
so this year i am praying for patience. i am concentrating on patience. i am holding tight to the word, the idea, the lessons, and the practice of patience. i know i will fail at it a
few times several times but i am going to keep on it. this is not going to be easy. but it is something in me that needs to change. i want to show more love to myself, my family and to others and i think a good place to start on that goal is by learning how to be patient. i hope to be more open and share a bit more in this space this coming year. maybe you will even help me with my goal of patience? by checking in on how i'm doing? or maybe even by praying for me?
ps. two things that changed on this blog with the new year...
1. i finally figured out how to remove the word verification from the comments so i hope it's easier and you comment more. =)
2. i brought back the follower section in the sidebar for reasons i'll share later. i know i shared months ago about how i didn't want it on this blog but things change and it's back. if you find that you do visit this space often, becoming an actual follower of the blog would be a good idea. plus it lets me know you are here and you like it. nothing wrong with showing a little encouragement, right?
*all photos were taken by my sweet husband and his new
toy camera. something else i am going to work on this year is being confident with who i am, how God made me, and the fact that i have strengths and weaknesses and that is okay. i hope that with learning to be patient with myself i will start being more kind to myself and thinking more positively about who i am.