I woke up this morning alone. Bryan had already left for work and the kids were both asleep. I made myself a cup of coffee and sat at the computer. I had intentions of writing Avery a birthday post which naturally began with picture browsing. I never got past the picture browsing part. The tears streaming down my face prevented me from typing and my racing heart prevented me from thinking straight. I was a mess. I have been so strong all summer. I knew that come August my little girl was turning the big FIVE and she was starting kindergarten. In the same week. Her party yesterday was a blast. But this morning on her real birthday, not so much. By the time she woke I had gained control of my tears but the second I saw her I began crying again as I wished her a happy birthday. I convinced her that mommy was crying tears of happiness. And I suppose that was true. Well, maybe a half truth. Someone sweetly commented on Instagram today, "the days are long, but the years are short." That's totally how this five-year milestone feels to me. These years have gone so so fast. Too fast.
The day was almost over and I knew I needed to tough-up and write this thing! I began looking through five years worth of pictures again and the funny thing is that I realized... yes, it REALLY has been that long. She really has lived five years worth of life and given us five years worth of laughter, snuggles, and pure joy. It was a little funny how looking at all those pictures made time slow down a bit as I browsed over five years of time in snap shots. It was like proof to me that it had all really happened, one long day at a time. *Seriously though, I have pictures from every.single.day.
She has been making people smile and melting hearts since the day she was born.
Her personality has been big and bright since the moment she opened those blue eyes.
She is a free spirited little person who would dance and sing all day if she had it her way... with an occasional break to change her baby doll's diaper and grab herself a sugary treat.
I have so many hopes and dreams for her.
More than anything though I hope with all of my heart that she stays true to who she is no matter what. That throughout all her years and journeys she will always search her heart for the answers. I hope she is always as strong and confident as she is now. I pray that she always knows and loves who she is... and that she knows how truly loved she is. Just as she is.
Well Avery Jane, you were right and mama was wrong... I didn't find a way to freeze time and keep you from getting any older. You are officially five years old and heading to kindergarten. I wish I could make you feel the exact happiness and joy that you bring me so that you could know how awesome it is. I am so thankful you are mine. I love you.