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Friday, August 3, 2012

why i blog

Why do I blog? is something I've asked myself a number of times over the years.

I started our original family blog many years ago.  I changed a lot of things about that blog several times over those years.  I struggled with being consistent.  I worried about it being too personal, not personal enough, too much about the kids, not enough business, too much business, lack of direction, or the severe lack of writing skills that I suffer from... you name it I wasn't satisfied with it.  Most of those feelings are now gone. In the past year I have discovered why I do actually enjoy to blog (regardless of lack of writing skills) and in discovering that, all the unsatisfied feelings have faded.

I know that the original reason for our first family blog was as a form of scrap booking.  I had recently given up on traditional scrap booking, once I realized how much space they took up.  I completed six books in Grant's first year of life.  That was just too much.  It dawned on me that I'd eventually need a room just for scrap books if I continued on in that fashion.  Using a blog site was much better.  It helped keep our bookshelf from breaking and was easier to share with friends and family.

I take a lot of pictures.  And I do mean a lot.  I love to document things.  Big, small, and the in-between.  Which explains six books in one year.  I believe this need for documenting overload was born out of my dad passing away much earlier in life than I ever expected.  I have very little pictures of him and I together, and only two pictures of him holding Grant.  Once he passed away I began searching for pictures of him, things he had written, things he collected, anything that would connect me to him again.  He kept a weather journal of all things which is on my desk and something I look through regularly.  I will keep it forever and read it often... just to be reminded of him.

I try to not let fear get the best of me.  I do not focus on the bad or let myself think to often about all the what-ifs there are in this life.  But much of my life's journey has sculpted me into someone who wants to be prepared, someone who isn't surprised or knocked down for long by life's trials.  So, with all that said, I will admit that yes, I have wondered what if I left this life too soon, as my dad did?  Would my family cherish all the pictures I've taken?  Would they feel grateful to have thoughts that I had written out about them, about me, about my love for them?  Would they enjoy reading the way that I describe the stories of Bryan and I meeting and falling in love?  Could they learn lessons or find help in my struggles that I honestly wrote about?  I don't know the answers.  I do know that no one can be totally prepared for something like that.  I will admit the whole concept might be too creepy for some to even imagine.  I do know that I would do anything for more memories and more glimpses of my dad and his life.  A large part of why I blog is to use it as a way of journaling.  As a way to preserve stories, pictures, and memories for my family.

Blogging is also a way that I enjoy to unwind.  To clear my head.  To remind myself of the daily blessings that I am surrounded by.  I know that I would enjoy to share more and use this blog for more.  I believe strongly in our stories.  I think we've been given them for good reasons.  I think we should use our voices.  Our stories.  Everyone is so different and have all been through different things in life, good and bad.  I have experienced over the past couple of years that no matter who you are, there is someone who needs to hear your story... regardless of what that is.  And there are stories out there that you need to hear. They can put things into perspective for us.  They can take away our feelings of being alone in a current struggle.  They can connect us.

So, whether I have one single person reading or one million readers, I will blog.  For myself.  For my family.  To share my stories.  To preserve my stories.  For that one person who may stumble across a particular entry, and it blesses their day or helps them to not feel alone.  That is why I blog.

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